To everyone who is or isn’t in a relationship: Are you currently happy? Why is that a question of course you are happy aren’t you? Because a problem shared is a problem halved and shared happiness is doubled happiness isn’t it?
The problem is, that a lot of people think exactly that. You have to be able to be happy on your own. Do not expect to get happiness in the relationship! Of course, you shouldn’t stay in a relationship if it doesn’t make you happy, but if you rely your happiness on your partner you won’t be happy. Are you really that selfish to let your partner carry the responsibility of your happiness? Are you really that submissive that you let your partner decide if you’re going to be happy or not?
Be self-governing, be happy on your own, be successful on your own. And then you can think about sharing it with another person, who also has the same mindset. If you want to help someone or be able to you have to be able to help yourself first. If you are weak you won’t be able to help someone. So in order to become strong you have to care for yourself first. So it is totally okay to be “selfish” in that perspective.
The main key is to focus on yourself so that you as a person can function on your own and you don’t have to rely on somebody or something. That doesn’t mean to cast you away from society, but rather to work on yourself instead of wasting time trying to hang that on another person.
Imagine one day you meet your dream girl, she is indeed perfect just as you imagined. You start dating and get to know each other, but what do you have to offer to make her stay? Do you ever consider if you are a dream man? If you aren’t how can you expect your dream girl to stay? Isn’t that ambivalent?
So in conclusions all arrows to point to you. You are the origin of your direction. And all the other circumstances around you may try to push you in their direction, but your will must be strong enough to let yourself decide in which direction you will go, not the external factors. Focus on yourself to become a dream man and be selfish and say no to things, that aren’t helping your goal to come closer. Be yourself and become yourself that you want to be.
Harry August 